Essay Writing with HCO - Writing the Introduction

From Canadian History Portal - HCO

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Introductory Sentence

This is the first sentence in your introduction. It should be a general sentence, but not so general as to be meaningless. What you do not want to do is engage in hyperbole: an over the top sentence that doesn't mean anything.

For example, pretend that you are writing an essay about Canada's role in the Battle of Vimy Ridge. A bad opening sentence might read this way.

From the beginning of time man has fought man in bloody wars that resulted in death and destruction.

This is a bad opening sentence. It doesn't tell the reader anything about your topic. A good opening sentence does several things:

It tells the reader what your general topic is
It is clear and focussed on a single general topic
It answers three questions about your topic: Who (or what), where and when

Consider this sentence for our fictional Vimy Ridge essay:

In 1917 Canadian troops crossed no man's land in a bloody battle to take the German held Vimy Ridge.

This sentence tells the reader that your topic is about Vimy Ridge, that the battle took place in 1917, and your more specific topic is Canada's role in the battle

Focusing Your Topic

Once you've established your opening sentence you will use several more sentences to begin focusing your topic even further. Stay on topic. Don't stray off into irrelevant material. You are working towards outlining your thesis.

Example

This battle, which represented the first time Canadian officers led and executed an entirely Canadian battle plan with Canadian troops, was one of the greatest successes of World War One. While the Canadians sustained heavy casusalities they were minor compared to the hundreds of thousands of troops killed in the Battle of the Somme in 1916. Canadians also gained far more ground and German held territory than any previous allied battle in World War One.

The example above helps to focus your topic further. Your essay is not only about Vimy Ridge, but how it was a successful battle relative to other WW I battles.

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The Thesis

Now you can present your thesis. Your thesis should be direct and clear. When the teacher reads your essay he/she should not have to look for your thesis. It should be readily apparent and clear.

Example

Canada's victory at Vimy Ridge was due to the ability of one man, General Arthur Currie, to both learn from past allied mistakes and engage in innovative tactical thinking.

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Your Evidence

After you present your thesis you should present your evidence. Outline the main points of your essay in the same order you address them in your essay. You must think carefully about your evidence. Which points flow logically into the other? Which point is the most important, and should be emphasized in your essay?

Consider the following points for our fictional Vimy Ridge Essay:

Example

Currie's innovative thinking is apparent in several ways. First, Currie studied previous WW I allied battles and sought ways to overcome obstacles early troops faced. Currie was also aware of how new military technology had changed warfare, and how new tactics were needed. Lastly, General Currie had a keen strategist. He developed new ways of attack and planning that maximized the efficiency of the Canadian troops.

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The Entire Introduction

Here is what the entire introduction would look if it were put together.

In 1917 Canadian troops crossed no man's land in a bloody battle to take the German held Vimy Ridge. This battle, which represented the first time Canadian officers led and executed an entirely Canadian battle plan with Canadian troops, was one of the greatest successes of World War One. While the Canadians sustained heavy casusalities they were minor compared to the hundreds of thousands of troops killed in the Battle of the Somme in 1916. Canadians also gained far more ground and German held territory than any previous allied battle in World War One. Canada's victory at Vimy Ridge was due to the ability of one man, General Arthur Currie, to both learn from past allied mistakes and engage in innovative tactical thinking. Currie's innovative thinking is apparent in several ways. First, Currie studied previous WW I allied battles and sought ways to overcome obstacles early troops faced. Currie was also aware of how new military technology had changed warfare, and how new tactics were needed. Lastly, General Currie had a keen strategist. He developed new ways of attack and planning that maximized the efficiency of the Canadian troops.